we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
