They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Randomize
