I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
