She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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