Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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