I wanna bring you to show and tell
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
