Joe is yelling at the trees again.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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