Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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