Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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