and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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