you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
