so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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