please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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