i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
