do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
