you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
