so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
