Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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