I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
