She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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