this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
