i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
