Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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