why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
