Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
