don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
