Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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