She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
