I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
