when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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