I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
