biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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