I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
