can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
