just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
