morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
