Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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