make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
