I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
