I cockslap morals
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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