I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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