I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize