This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
