I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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