So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
