i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
