Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
