Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
