Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
