what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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