i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
