In the future we'll all be gay
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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