why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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