The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
