I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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