You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
