This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
