Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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