its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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