what day is it and did you see me today?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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